“Up now, slight man! Flee for a little while thy occupations; hide thyself for a time from thy disturbing thoughts. Cast aside now thy burdensome cares, and put away thy toilsome business. Yield room for some little time to God, and rest for a little time in Him. Enter the inner chamber of thy mind; shut out all thoughts save that of God and such as can aid thee in seeking Him. Speak now, my whole heart! Speak now to God, saying, I seek Thy face; Thy face, Lord, will I seek.”
~ Anselm ~
To sneak in a two-week getaway is always rejuvenating. And our most recent escapade to South Carolina was no different. My family always put a huge emphasis on service to others. I know today my parents chose to involve us in community service because it was an outpouring from the heart. Serving others was one way our family could be the hands and feet of Jesus. I am forever grateful my Mister has a huge heart for service over self. I am thankful together we can be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Our two weeks in Chester, South Carolina were spent on a work team with our weekends spent among family in Atlanta, GA and Crossville, TN. To be able to encourage hope and new beginnings for families in dire need of new homes is a blessing. I know my faith in God was renewed and strengthened.
Throughout our time in South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, and Kentucky water was a consistent presence. Our jobsites were sloshy and goopy from hours of rain. Our quads were quaking with the strain of climbing to the top of a waterfall. Our clothes were soaked through from the deluge of sudden rainstorms while framing up and siding homes. Our views on the winding roads were breathtaking with each new stream pouring down the mountainside. We were lulled to sleep as the gentlest of rains pelted our window. We stood in awe at the size of the Ark that saved Noah and his family from utter destruction. No matter the form water took on our adventure it spoke something deep into my heart.
If it was possible to loaf all summer long you would find me next to water. I have always been drawn to water. And as time passes I have a deeper appreciation for the significance of water in my life. God revealed himself to me with each encounter of water on our vacation.
The shoe-sucking mud at our jobsites caused by the torrential rains reminded me of the filth of my sins. Just as the goopy mud dirtied every article of my clothing and caused me to almost walk out of my shoes so is sin. The quiet voice that says to ignore the Holy Spirit is like the shoe-sucking mud, it gets a hold of you and your feel mired, stuck. The quagmire of sin is impossible to navigate if you turn your focus inward instead of heavenward to God. And yet, with the rain there is also a cleansing.
The water that accumulates from rain washes away the dirt and grime that builds over the winter months. The rains soak into the parched ground and entices spring into its full glory. So too is the Water of Life, Jesus Christ. When you turn your eyes to heaven and seek forgiveness from God he washes you clean. Your sins are no more, they are as far as the East is from the West. What was once a cracked and hardened soul is filled to overflowing with the Water of Life. From his grace and forgiveness your true glory is revealed: you are made in the image of God. He made a way to rescue you from your filth and sin and he promises forgiveness and eternal life.
At one point in the history of the world the Creator of the universe was filled with
disgust by the filth and sin of his creation. He chose water as the means of destruction. Yet in his mercy he made a way to rescue Noah and his family from death. The Ark. All of humanity and their deep dark sin was thrust under water. The water covered the sins of all mankind. It was the Ark that rescued the eight set apart by God. Just as the Ark rescued Noah from the wrath of God and the punishment of death the Cross and death of Jesus has rescued you from your sin.
When I acknowledged my sin and sought forgiveness Jesus rescued me from my sin. As I grew in my faith I made the decision to become baptized. My baptism took place in water. When I was baptized, my sin was symbolically immersed in water as my physical body was covered in the waters of Pearce Community Center. Just as God used water to wipe away all sin on the earth with a worldwide flood the baptismal waters symbolize my new life apart from sin. When I was brought out of the water I was brought into new life, forgiveness, and eternity.
I am thankful God uses his creation to remind me of his redeeming love and forgiveness. This love and forgiveness must be my draw to water, no matter the form. To sit beside the crashing waves of the ocean, to hear the soft patter of rain on a tin roof, to walk beside the tumbling waterfall, to swim in a prairieland pond, to splash in a puddle of rain, to hear the roar of rapids is to be reminded of my rescue from sin.
May I never cease to stand in awe of the life giving water of Jesus Christ. I was once muddy and dying from the drought of my soul. And today the waters of forgiveness have washed me of my sin, restored my soul, and brought me into glory.
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
1 Peter 2:9-10
How amazing is it to be chosen by the Creator of the universe? It may seem as if I walk through this world completely alone but that is a lie the world has been speaking to me for far too long. I belong to a holy nation. He chose me and He has adopted me. I no longer walk in darkness but in marvelous light!
I am boisterous and passionate and an extrovert. I am a random break out in song, dance through the house, and laugh out loud kinda gal. I am a talker and adventure seeker and thriller finder. All of that is a lot to handle in one package.
Long before I knew he existed God was preparing a husband to love me. Just as I am. To say I am blessed by God is an understatement. I am thankful to be walking through this life with my mister alongside me.
I am loved and cherished. I am cared for and protected. I am lead and supported. I am encouraged and challenged. I am valued and important.
Each day I am blessed to experience the love of God through the love of my husband. I am truly blessed. And as I like to say, “He’s a keeper.”
These past few months my ladies Bible study has been deep diving into First Peter. And wowza, it has been powerful, earth shattering, and reaffirming in one fell swoop. I have been taken once again with the magnitude of suffering Jesus experienced in my stead. He died a horrific death because he loved me more than 2,000 years before I even existed. Jesus died for the sins I had yet to commit. He chose to remain on the cross and bear the weight of my guilty verdict. The price was mine to pay.
And yet Jesus, the Lamb of God gave his life for mine. He chose death to give me life. Me, little ol’ me. There is nothing in my life I have accomplished or achieved which could possibly begin to eat away at the ransom on my head. Nothing.
Shed blood is the only currency God deems acceptable to satisfy my ransom. The blood of a spotless and blemish free Lamb. This perfect Lamb is God’s only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus shed his blood for me, it is my victory. Why would he take my place? He loves me.
“O the blood
Crimson love
Price of life’s demand
Shameful sin
Placed on Him
The Hope of every man
O the blood of Jesus washes me
O the blood of Jesus shed for me
What a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory”
Through Christ I have victory over death. I am no longer captive to sin but set free. To walk in such freedom catches me off guard and overwhelms me. I can be scrubbing the kitchen floor and a worship song reminds me I am seen as a righteous saint in God’s eyes. I am wrecked and crushed by this love, by this righteousness that is now mine. I am seen as pure and clean, without sin. How is that possible? He loves me.
“Savior Son
Holy One
Slain so I can live
See the Lamb
The great I Am
Who takes away my sin
O the blood of the Lamb”
I am frequently left speechless and moved to tears by the magnitude of Jesus’ sacrifice to cleanse me of my sin. His death brought me victory over sin and death. The same victory is accessible to all who call out to him. If you have ever questioned God’s grace and his unending forgiveness, please know you only need open the door to him and he will fill your life with blessings unimaginable.
Simply come to him as Romans 10:9 explains, “Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and you will be saved.” The journey is not easy and much is required to obey and follow as he leads. But he never leaves you nor does he forsake you, “For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved'” (Romans 10:13).
I am that someone who has called on the name of the Lord. He has saved me. My heart yearns for friends and family to call on the name of the Lord and be saved. My heart desires the same for you. Do not wait. Call out to him today, right now. He’s desires you. He loves you. He wants nothing more than to be your victory.
“Oh what love, no greater love
Grace, how can it be
That in my sin, yes, even then
He shed His blood for me
O the blood of Jesus washes me
O the blood of Jesus shed for me
What a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory
It was a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory.”
There is a lot of hustle and bustle interwoven throughout my day. Hustle is typically planned. Bustle not so much. Yet the hustle and bustle are the components which make my life beautiful.
Within the hurry and scurry there are these moments which thrust my heart into a rat-a-tat and my breath is snatched from my chest. Love is not always found in grand gestures or in extravagant trips. The vast majority of time it is unearthed amongst the hustle of a full time job, flipping a house, family gatherings, scrubbing the house clean, running errands, and keeping food in the fridge.
Love is to spend a day traipsing with family to multiple tree farms to find the perfectly plump and just-the-right height Christmas tree despite exhaustion and a stubborn cold.
Love is crawling between the sheets to a room already nice and toasty from the heater on full blast after a long night processing deer sausage.
Love is running out the door late to work and remembering you desperately need fuel if you don’t want to hitchhike to work on I-55 only to find a full tank and a debugged windshield.
Love is a living room and kitchen devoid of dishes and clutter after three days of full fledge sickness.
Love is driving by your home in the smack middle of bustle and catching a glimpse of your just perfect Christmas tree lit and sparkling in the window.
Love is a granted night away from hanging and sanding drywall to host a table for the Ladies Christmas Tea at church.
Love is a wink across the shop while you’re elbow deep mixing deer and pork for summer sausage.
Love is a night of Hallmark Christmas movies following an afternoon of football games.
Love is standing over the stove and hearing your favorite Christmas records playing in the next room.
Love is Christmas carols at church with an unexpected arm pulling you close to worship and praise the Christ Child.
Love is hustle and bustle squeezed in with the simple and mundane. In all honesty the simple and mundane express far more love to my heart than the grand and extravagant.
And at Christmas time love is a child born in Bethlehem in a lowly manger with livestock to witness His birth. Love is God giving His Son to the world over 2,000 years ago to live a perfect life that I might live and experience unconditional love and eternal salvation.
In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season I must make a concerted effort to pause and truly bask in what love is at Christmas. Love is Jesus Christ, God with Us ~ Immanuel. There is far more to Christmas than hurry and scurry. There is love and forgiveness of sins and a new identity as a Saint and no longer one of a sinner. This heavenly Christmas gift sent to earth in the form of a babe IS love.
This love is grand and extravagant. This love has saved my soul. This love sent at Christmas is not reserved for me alone but extended to you and to yours. Seek Him and you will find Him. Seek the Christ Child and you will experience what Love Is.
My life is beautiful because of this love. Merry Christmas.
“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”
~ Isaiah 7:14 ~
“And behold, you [Mary] will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you hall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
~ Luke 1:31-35 ~
Ten months ago my Mister encouraged and supported me in my decision to leave my place of employment. I was utterly clueless in my next steps. There were no next steps. I only knew God was calling me to take the first step, leave your desk job. Leave now.
In all honesty I was not overly keen on the idea of being unemployed with an unknown future. I pushed back. Long and hard. But yet my heart was longing to be free of the confines of my desk. God saw the desire of my heart and made a path for me to walk away.
I did not know in January the repercussions of walking away. What massively outrageously beautiful repercussions. Jesus knew I needed a revitalization. He knew my spirit was downcast and overrun and sputtering along on empty. He knew the revitalization I needed was not going to be found in a quick mental and physical break. Unbeknownst to be me, I required a complete overhaul of the heart. A six-month long overhaul.
Those first two months of unemployment it was just me in my home tackling boxes and boxes of my unpacked life from Chillicothe to Chenoa. In those boxes the Son of God met me. We walked through years of prayer journals together. We uncovered wounds I thought we had healed. We rediscovered and put to rest, one more time, lies I kept repeating to myself about my identity and my value. We unearthed the beauty of a daily relationship with the Word of God. I poured out my heart and my tears. Jesus caught every one. I cried out in anguish and fear and doubt and loneliness. Jesus tethered himself to me.
There were oh so many days of the deep and body wracking tears cried out on my shower floor. Jesus Christ met me there, spoke truth to me there, and restored my soul.
I am thankful for those two months. January and February brought me into a renewed fellowship with the Savior of my soul. And then He brought me to Proverbs 31 Ministries and Lysa TerKeurst. I was so richly blessed through her Bible study Finding I Am. Believe you me, I found I AM in those pages. I was reminded of who it is I praise and worship. Jesus is the Bread of Life. Jesus is the Light of the World. Jesus is the Door. Jesus is the Good Shepard. Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Jesus is the True Vine.
Above all Jesus is my Bread of Life. Jesus is the my Light of the World. Jesus is my Door. Jesus is my Good Shepard. Jesus is my Resurrection and Life. For me Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Jesus is my True Vine.
As I was rediscovering who Jesus is to me He started me on the journey to revitalize my hunger and thirst of Him. I hungrily pursued Him and as I pursued the next step was given to me. One step followed by the next step followed by the next. Then WHAM right out of left field came a humdinger which left my heart pounding a cry of “Yes, God, yes! One hundred times yes!”
A beautiful friend, and a cousin through marriage, asked me to join her in co-leading a Bible study for a few members of our family. She did not want me to feel pressured or backed into a corner in any way. I could think and pray before responding. There was not even the slightest inkling of a pause before I responded with my yes.
Three months into unemployment it became abundantly clear to me the purpose behind leaving my desk. Jesus. I had lost sight of Jesus. I had unwittingly put Him on a shelf and left Him there for a more convenient time.
Jesus is not all about convenience. I should not be about convenience. It took unemployment (totally inconvenient) and an unknown future (earthshattering inconvenience) to bring me back to the feet of Jesus. For months He knew I desired to be a member of a women’s Bible study in my new home. But what He knew I needed more than Bible study was Him. The Bread of Life.
So God called me away from my desk and into unemployment.
He knew my unemployment would bring true soul healing. He knew unemployment would bring me back to the ever merciful feet of Jesus. He knew unemployment would prepare me to co-lead a women’s Bible study. He knew unemployment would be the thrust needed to expand my understanding of my salvation. He knew unemployment would be used to deepen relationships with my new family. He knew.
God brought me to unemployment to met him.
Ten months ago when I was preparing to leave my desk for the last time I could not even begin to fathom the true purpose behind my discontent in my job. Three months in, and then again in May, and then with the conclusion of our women’s study in Galatians I am only just beginning to appreciate the magnitude of my obedience to walk away from my desk.
God’s Kingdom. Not mine.
Little did I know it would take an incredibly massive step of faith to bring about one of my life’s greatest blessings. Yet He knew.
He knows your heartache. He knows your tears. He knows your worries. He knows your fears. He knows the yearnings of your heart. He knows where you are. He knows your name. He knows who you are.
He knows.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
1 Peter 1:3-7
In a mere two short weeks our youngest sister will be walking down the isle. To think of your babiest of sisters being married is slightly more than overwhelming! And before your baby sister gets married, what better trip to take than a long weekend, just the girls, visiting their Marine brother? That’s exactly what we did the first weekend in February.
For whatever reason, we always seem to catch the earliest flight possible out of Chicago on a Friday morning. Not only that, we most definitely always have to work late Thursday night which means we land at our sister’s Oak Park home in the wee morning hours, catch a few zzzs and make our way to the airport. But in retrospect, there is not one thing I would change about our late night adventures to Chicago. Charlie inevitably will tell me to “SLOW DOWN” going around the corners of on ramps. We always seem to hop off the interstate to grab Taco Bell and get a chuckle at the late night customers in front of us. We roll in to Oak Park, give our sister LB a little jingle, get buzzed in, take out our contacts, hit the sack for 2.5 hours and call it good.
There are beautiful memories to be had in those precious hours spent traveling when the highways are clear and the ‘cherries and berries’ are nowhere in sight. I wouldn’t trade those moments with Charlie for the world.
Yes, Charlie is a girl. No, Charlie also has nothing to do with her real name. When she was a tiny lass I called her Charlie on a whim and it’s stuck. It’s one of my many terms of endearment for my babiest of sisters. Something tells me, she’ll always be Charlie. Especially when I am in a particularly pensive mood.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I left this post unfinished for far too long. My Charlie has been married for a year and a half. She’s all growed up as I like to say. I am not truly sure how this growing up came to pass but here we are and she’s quite grown.
She’s overwhelmingly beautiful. Her heart is caring and good and king. Her love of others is strong and true. Her gift of service to others runs deep.
Charlie has an easy smile and quick laugh. Her hand is constantly reaching to be of service. She is passionate about her niece and nephew, her Venture Scouts, and her pups.
Her maturity is beyond her years. Her sister is incredibly and speechlessly proud of her. I am especially blessed to be her sister. Her beauty has made my world more beautiful. No matter where the winding and the slithering of life’s curvy road may lead, may she always know she is loved.
To say life has been full would be an understatement. To say our family has expanded would be the honest truth. To say we have experienced much joy is a beautiful reality. To say we are navigating through deep loss is the unvarnished truth. To say my God is faithful through every expected and unexpected, beautiful and crushing, life enhancing and life altering moment cannot even begin to fully and wholly encompass God’s faithfulness.
He is faithful.
To get the ball rolling on our full year, my youngest sister and her fiance were married on March 6. Amariah and McGwire were the third of the five of us Bauer kids to get hitched.
God is faithful.
Not one to be left behind, Jeremiah proposed to and married his girlfriend in three weeks time. Jeremiah and Anna were wed on April 3. Yep, you read that right, just one month after our sister. A mere six hours later, the whole clan was in the waiting room eagerly anticipating the birth of our first niece, Annabelle.
Little Miss entered the world in the last minutes of April 3 to share her parent’s wedding day. Wild and beautiful.
Jehovah Jireh is faithful.
On our way to Princeton on April 22 to pick up my Chicagoan sister and hoping to swing by the newly weds’, Amariah and McGwire, home to check out their newly painted bedrooms, I stood speechless at the crest of a bluff with the faintest of breezes and the warmth of a spring sun setting to the west as my love asked me to be his bride.
El Shaddai is faithful.
The morning of June 1 my grandfather passed away in his home of almost 40 years in the arms of his wife of 59 years and in the presence of his youngest daughter. To kneel with my family and pray a prayer honoring our Saviour in the midst of grief and the deepest heartsick pain will forever be seared into my memory.
Jeovah Rapha is faithful.
Ten weeks following our engagement, in the company of family and friends, my father and mother prayed a prayer of blessing and protection over Brandon and I as we made a covenant to each other and to God. Together we covenanted to keep God at the center of our marriage.
Jehovah Nissi is faithful.
Photo Credit: Amelia Zobrist Photography
In the first two months of our marriage, The Mister and I have shared in the joys of cousins’ marriages, traveled to the East Coast, ventured to the West Cost, welcomed home my youngest brother and his new family, celebrated countless birthdays, and partook in a loving and honoring memorial service for my Grandpa.
God is faithful. Always faithful.
Faithful does not accurately describe God’s commitment to my family. Through every life event of 2016 God’s presence has been felt. He is the calm in the face of the unknown. He is the provider of the peace that surpasses all understanding. He is the joy found in the marriages of three siblings. He is the giver of life in the welcoming of a new babe into the Bauer fold. He is the stronghold in the bellows of an unknown future. He is.
He is. God IS. As a mere sinful mortal I cannot explain all that God ‘is’. However, God is able to fully explain His person. In Exodus 3: 14-15 Moses asks God to tell him who He is so that he may share with the wandering Israelites, He replies:
“God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” 15God, furthermore, said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is My name forever, and this is My memorial-name to all generations.”
I proclaim as Peter proclaimed in Mark 8:27-29:
“Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?”28 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.”29 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.”
When sharing the wild, extravagant life events of the year 2016 it is not uncommon for a string of questions to be asked, “How are you parents? How is your mom? How are you adjusting? How’s married life? Are you settling in?”. The list of questions could go on for a few more lines. But my answer is the same, Life is Good.
I am able to respond with Life is Good because God is Good. God is faithful. He IS. And because He is, I am able to say Life is Good.
Life is ever changing but God is good and He is faithful.
The year of our Lord 2016 came quickly and does not appear to be slowing. As young babes time cannot move fast enough. We look forward to the day we’ll be 7.5 years old and able to ride our bike unsupervised. It comes and we’re eagerly waiting to become a teenager. The moment we turn 13 we cannot wait to be 16. Then suddenly we’re 16 and 18 seems eons away. But then we’re 18 and we wonder, where did all the time go? We realize we are not ready to visit college campuses and determine our lives trajectory. Yet time marches on and we pray that somewhere in the future life will begin to slow. It never does slow, does it?
Life has definitely now slowed in the Bauer household. Our merry band of seven has grown and continues to grow. We’ve added spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends, and even a nephew along the way. Every phase of life has brought its challenges. But life has also brought its victories. The Bauer clan has a beautiful life. We have a few scars and we may have stretch marks with a little bruising but beautiful nonetheless. We have been blessed with a beautiful life.
God has been faithful through every phase of our lives. From the birth of each child, to the numerous trips to prompt care and the emergency room, through layoffs, job changes, college loans, health difficulties, broken cars, loss of loved ones. The list of God’s faithfulness is endless. He has given us a beautiful life in the midst of every difficulty.
At each of life’s challenges God has been faithful. He has heard our simplest of prayers and answered with kindness. No matter the difficulty God has seen us through and brought us unto himself.
The Father of lights has blessed me with a beautiful family and a beautiful life. I am truly blessed.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test e will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” James 1: 2-18
Musings of a Tethered Soul 